Just in case any of you need any comedy relief this weekend, I will be doing a show on Sunday at 4pm in Ridgeland. It's called the yoga class. First of all, let me tell you what I am NOT:
1. Flexible. I thought doing 18 miles was tough...... I look around at all these women and they are stretching away. Meanwhile sweat is pouring from my head as I am trying to maintain balance, and having my muscles feel like they were on fire. Have you ever tried to hold a position longer than five seconds when you have a body as big as mine???? I don't think so!!!
2. Female. It was pretty obvious that the females in the room are far more flexible than the few men that were there. My goodness, I was not aware that I was supposed to be able to place my hands under the soles of my feet.......while standing.........for a long, LONG time..........
3. A "flat belly". I believe a person's girth has a little something to do with not being able to put their hands under the soles of their feet........while standing.......for a long, LONG time.........and still try and be able to breathe. For those non medical people out there......oxygen is my friend, and I don't want to make it mad and leave any time soon. So those of you that were there on Sunday probably got tired of hearing me trying to catch my breath simply because I still have a keg and not a sixpack.
4. Flexible. Did I say that already?? I know my hamstrings felt like they were going to rip in two several times that day.
5. A prisoner...... At least not yet. But if that yoga instructor keeps going the way she was going, I swear I will have to have a talk with her in a back alley!! (just kidding, please don't take seriously......)
That's ok. Keep poking fun at me. I'll keep trying to stretch. Any of you men out there that still think women are the weaker sex should try aerobics and yoga. I promise you it will give you a new respect for these people.
See ya Saturday!!
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11 comments:
I will be SURE not to get close to you at the next yoga class as you will have me in hysterics, I feel certain. I couldn't stop giggling anyway the first time so it could get really bad if we were near one another!
Man, I HATE I missed all that!
Jana
No poking fun!!! You just had me rolling with the things you were mumbling under your breath. I had a hard time concentrating! But, wasn't that relaxation technique at the end all worth it?
Oh... you are not going to make it tonight? I hate I missed all that. I was planning to go, but ended up sleeping right through it. I am afraid I'd better not get close either 'cause we might end up fighting for that oxygen! That is if I can stand up long enough.
Good for you!
Well I was near you and you did fine.... you always keep the humor in all of this and we need that as much as anything, especially when it is so hot we don't want to do ANYTHING at all. I hate you will miss tonight... I will miss Sunday
I certainly wish I had been there to hear all the mumbling! If it was anything like your blogs, I'm afraid I would have been rolling around on the floor begging for air!
Sheila
im hating i miss this yoga thing.. keep up the good work
see ya saturday
Well, it was SERIOUS in yoga tonight...no giggling...hurry back we need you! I heard about all your mumbling last Sunday but I was too far away to hear you. I probably need to stay across the room from you so I will get "something" out of the class. Your blog cracked me up as usual!
I may have to bring a camera to this yoga class. It sounds like it needs to be documented.
See ya Saturday!
Debra
I saw your blog about yoga and not wanting you to suffer alone I decided to go Wednesday night. Thanks for not showing up I got to be the jester. See you Sunday.
p.s. Joan said I was snoring in the "Corpse Position!" I'm not for sure.
I did not hear George snore at all. It was a TOUGH class though. Wished I'd been there Sunday, this blog is hilarious!!!!!
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