I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!!

Ok, here are my comments and thoughts about Saturday's run:

1. If you take a benedryl the night before, make sure you take it early enough to wear off when you get up at 3:30am the next morning. When the alarm went off, I didn't know which way was up. It was amazing that I got there fully clothed and my underwear was on the inside!!
And being the astute nurse that I am, at 3:30am I decided to take a 2-liter of Dt. Mountain Dew in the car with me to try and wake me up not thinking clearly enough that the caffiene would dehydrate me later.........go figure.

2. With a full bladder at the start of the run, make sure your cap light functions properly when you have to make a pit stop in the woods.
It seems that I am now covered with a poison ivy rash all over my body from one of my little 'treks' into the woods in the dark. I had to take a decadron shot and start popping Claritin Antihistimines as soon as I got to the clinic on Monday.

3. And if you do drink a liter of Dt. Mountain Dew, be sure to replace enough liquids and electrolytes so as not to have a crushing headache the last twelve miles so that you don't see two of everybody from your dehydration. I apologize to anyone if I seemed rather short at the end of the run. I was in a lot of pain.

4. If you are dehydrated, don't try and drive until you have enough fluids to counteract the cramping that has been occuring the last twelve mile of your run.
It seems I cramped up when I got in the car. Ok, no biggee. It passed. Then, by the time I got home, it took upwards of twenty minutes to try and get out of the car without cramping. My wife had to come help me out of the car. Then she had to undress me in the bathroom because I couldn't bend my legs. But oh my Lord! Did that ice bath and cold shower feel sooooooooo good!

5. After cleaning up and feeling better, remember to keep drinking fluids and replacing those electrolytes. I hobbled over to the couch to rest, and watch a nice afternoon of college football. It seems I dozed off for about thirty minutes. I'm laying there on the couch and thinking, 'ok, I need to go to the bathroom'. I start to get off the couch and that is when the most miserable time of my entire life began for the next 6-10 minutes. I like to think that I died and went to hell and back. ..........

As I got off the couch, both of my groin muscles and my other "male associated" area locked up completely and I began what was the worst cramp of my life. I have had broken bones, passed a small kidney stone, and had MCL/ACL damage to my left knee and none of those things even compared to the pain and agony I was feeling at that moment.

I tried to get off the couch thinking if I could just 'walk it off', I would be ok. But NOOOOOOO! I took a step and fell to the ground on my hands and knees. Tears were pouring out of my eyes as I howled in agony. In the background, I could hear my wife and son laughing at me as they later said that I was "screaming like a little girl". I don't remember much of anything as I almost blacked out from the pain, but I do remember asking her to shoot me and put me out of my misery.......

Finally, by the grace of God, it subsided after what Tamara said was about 6 minutes. I lay on the floor afraid to get up. They helped me up to the bathroom, laid me on the bed, gave me some ice packs to the areas and popped a flexeril muscle relaxer down my throat to knock me out. About three hours later, I got up, and then proceeded to eat and drink for what seemed like an hour. I devoured almost a whole pot roast, all but one piece of a pan of cornbread, a loaded baked potato, a bag of cooked mini carrots, and all the liquids I could stand. And then I was still hungry that night before I went to bed.

Moral of the story, hydrate.......hydrate.......hydrate........even with the cooler weather. Take your electrolyte supplements and stay away from excessive caffiene before a long run.

Sorry to ramble for such a long story...... I just finished my afternoon Dt. Dew........excuse I have to go to the little boys room now........:-)